Women's Initiative Network Wichita

Help & Hope for survivors of domestic violence

Survivor Stories

WIN launches #ForcedToHide awareness campaign

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Women survivors of domestic violence have no reason to be ashamed. Yet many of them feel “forced to hide” from people who would judge them for their bruises and scars, and from their abusers who too often threaten them long after a relationship has ended.

That’s the message behind WIN’s new domestic violence awareness campaign, #ForcedToHide.

The hashtag is part of advertising appearing on Wichita city buses, billboards, and in other public places frequented by women who may need WIN’s services.

While the campaign initially is to inform women of the help available to them through WIN, it also is designed to remind everyone of the prevalence of domestic violence, said Amber Beck, WIN account manager, who conceived of the campaign.

“One out of three women have been experienced domestic violence themselves – or know someone who has,” said Beck. “We want to shine a light on this ongoing problem so that someday, no woman will have to say she is ‘forced to hide.’”

Beck invites everyone to show their support for WIN and the women it serves by taking a photo of themselves — or of someone else — wearing a mask or otherwise hiding from plain view, then posting it to their social media accounts with #ForcedToHide.  She asks everyone to challenge their friends to do the same. Be sure to like your favorite #ForcedToHide photos and share them to WIN’s Facebook page, facebook.com/wichitawomensinitiativenetwork.

This advertising campaign is funded in part through a Kansas Health Foundation Capacity Grant, received by WIN in October 2017 to raise public awareness of WIN’s services to low-income women survivors of domestic violence.

New mural tells WIN survivor story

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Local artist Dale Shubert, with the mural she created at the WIN offices.

 

When Dale Shubert saw the freshly painted but bare walls of WIN’s workroom, she instantly thought, “What a great place for a mural!”

Volunteers, including her son, Joseph, daughter, Hannah, and Wichita State University student Anais Bardin, spent many long days carefully painting the WIN offices in advance of its 20th anniversary open house in October 2017. In the process, they created the perfect canvas for Shubert’s mural.

Shubert, a busy local artist, was eager for her latest work to tell the stories of the Women of WIN – all survivors of domestic violence. The result is a wall full of images that reflect the women’s “challenges and dreams” she said.

The mural captures women of many ethnic backgrounds and ages on their journeys from pain and despair to soaring hope and freedom. It includes images of ravens – the symbol of impending change – and of butterflies – the symbol of change realized.

For Shubert, who grew up in an abusive home, this project was a way to make up for the helplessness she felt as a child.

“I couldn’t help Mom as much as I wanted, so now I try to give back in her memory to women who have gone through the same thing.”

In the process, she hopes she’ll inspire other domestic abuse survivors to “feel emboldened to break away and make a change for the better.”

“It takes a huge leap of faith for these women to step away from their abusers, one that I could never get my mom to make,” she says.

You’re invited to see the mural for yourself. Just give us a call at 262-3960 and tell us when you’d like to come. Our offices, at 510 E. Third, are open during business hours, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday through Friday.

 

Shenike: ‘WIN was my stepping stone’

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Shenike was looking for something new when she left Texas to join friends living in northern Wisconsin. She quickly settled into that new home, finding work as a waitress. And in no time, she found a doting boyfriend, who immediately began showering her with kind words and gifts.

The relationship moved “real fast,” but within a month of moving in with her, he turned from doting to controlling and abusive. He falsely accused her of cheating on him with one of her restaurant co-workers.

“I ended up with black eyes,” she says. “Then he’d buy me makeup to cover up my bruises.”

Her co-workers and neighbors noticed the bruises and tried to get her help, urging her to call the police.

Finally, Shenike told him she was leaving. He responded by throwing her to the ground and beating her with her own shoe.  Then he grabbed her keys and stole her car.

Shinike packed a bag and caught the next bus for Wichita, where she had family. She was referred to WIN for help getting on her feet in the new city.

“WIN was my stepping stone,” she says. “They helped me find an apartment, taught me how to manage my money, and encouraged me to enroll in training to become a certified nursing assistant.”

But more than that, they taught her to spot the warning signs that a relationship may turn abusive, and that “I needed to love myself before looking for love in someone else.”

Now graduated from the WIN program, she is working as a CNA and studying at Butler Community College to become a registered nurse. And, she’s happily married to a “very sweet man” who encourages her, worries about her, and cooks for her.

“But I do the dishes!” she adds with a laugh.

Shinike says she likes the changes she’s seeing in herself as a result of the WIN program.

“I’m happy now, and I’m not scared to ask for help if I need it,” she says. “My family is happy for me, too. They tell me all the time that they’re proud of me!”

Louisa: Finding a hopeful future

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By age 36, Louisa had endured an abusive childhood and two failed, abusive marriages before finding help and hope for a better life through Wichita Women’s Initiative Network.

“I had no idea there was support out there for women like me,” she said.

But after four months in the WIN program, she says. “Now I know there are people who care and resources to help. WIN is a good program!”

The youngest of six children, Louisa was born and raised in Germany to immigrant parents from north Africa. She left home at 16 and married her first husband, an American Army soldier, at 20.

While he was often “a great guy,” he also was possessive and abusive. She stayed with him through two children and a transfer to Kansas because she was afraid she couldn’t support herself and her children alone.

Later, she sought refuge in a brief second marriage that turned out to be just as abusive, and she had another child.

Then she heard about the WIN program, which helps women survivors of domestic abuse become emotionally whole and financially independent through part-time employment, emotional support and counseling and job-readiness training.

After just a few months in the program, Louisa is learning to deal with the trust issues and trauma she endured, and has hope for the future.

“I’m much happier now,” says Louisa, “Here, I can talk about things and not keep everything inside.”

And here, she’s finding caring support from people who want nothing more than to help her meet her goals in life: to support herself and her children.

“I want to be at peace with myself, to get a good job, a house, and to enjoy life with my kids.”

You can help Louisa and women like her to a hopeful future through your financial support of the Wichita WIN program.  Please donate now.